Reading Tone: Part 6

Part 6:

Today, we will focus on the final consideration (but not my final post on tone...) when reading tone in written📝 communication: Seek out more information

If you used the first five tips and are still unclear about what emotion is in a text, seek out more information. In an example in a previous post, Bob’s wife missed their 10-year anniversary. What if you asked Bob to tell you more? Bob might tell you that his wife died, and that is why she missed their anniversary. Suddenly, we may be convinced that Bob is feeling more sadness than anger. The bottom line is that you should try to avoid guessing. You need to ask questions. 

Of course, none of this research-based advice may be applicable to particular people or relationships. That’s why detecting emotion in text messages is just as much an art 🖼️ as a science 🧪 . You may be sure that your friend Jane is feeling sad even though she says she is feeling great. You know Jane, and you know how she is. If you read her text messages with care and curiosity, you’ll get to the truth about how she’s feeling.

And what if, after we ask, we find out they were mad at us? Giving grace to each other is important, because everyone is entitled to their emotions. And this is a great opportunity to use our Fearless Feedback to help bring awareness to the other person. Often, people are oblivious to how their words were received by others. Letting them know what the impact of their words had on you, will result in higher probability of behavior change.